Why Traditional Marriage Counseling Will NOT Fix A Relationship After The Affair
"The Solution To Saving A Marriage After An Affair Is NOT Marriage Counseling, Here’s Why…"
Sara felt disgusted, unattractive and hopeless when she discovered Chris sexting other women and watching porn sites every day, despite promising he had given that up.
When I was introduced to Sara and her husband Chris they were completely stuck, confused and finding it hard to get past the affair.
Sara felt disgusted, unattractive and hopeless when she discovered Chris sexting other women and watching porn sites, despite promising he had given that up.
When I was introduced to Sara and her husband Chris they were completely stuck, confused and finding it hard to get past the affair.
The guidance they were given on how to fix a relationship after an affair was just not working at all.
(read on and see below for why and what does work!)
Literally, they were so lost, fed up and absolutely exhausted talking about the affair and going around and around in circles… they were unsure whether they were better off parting ways and getting divorced. Because Sara felt like she will never ever get over the pain, she had developed many insecurities and felt anxious every time her husband went out or was on his phone. She dreaded him travelling for business and even though at times she couldn't stand the site of him, she loved him so much and wanted him around so she felt safe. She had never experienced anything like this before. Sara described herself as feeling broken.
Chris had been sexting another woman at the beginning of their relationship and when they became official he stopped. However a few years into the marriage, when Sara was pregnant his porn habit increased to a daily occurrence, which he lied about. Later he went on to dating sites and sexted other women and sex workers. Asking them what they would do for him and then deleting them when they asked to meet.
Sara felt that he was distant, that something was off. She put it down to being new parents, but after seeing how guarded he was with his phone and how long he spent in the bathroom she had the urge to check his phone and what she found crushed her.
Sara couldn't believe that the cheating has gone on for years at the time when she was carrying and delivered their new born. Sara had been cheated on before so her self-worth and self-esteem was shattered. She couldn't eat, sleep, concentrate or relax when she came to me. She couldn't trust him because this was the second time she had caught him sexting. It was hard for her see a way forward.
She found herself waking up in the night to check his phone and lap top for signs of cheating. She went through his facebook and Instagram accounts looking for more evidence.
She felt like a shell of herself and didn’t like who she was turning into. Sara felt so down because she was also attacking herself she felt ugly, fat, old. As she began to look into Chris’s internet history for more clue’s she discovered more behaviour that alarmed her. Countless porn sites in his browser history and websites of foreign women offering extra services online.
She felt sick, who have I married she thought. Has the whole relationship been a complete lie? Did he ever love me and find me attractive? The relationship is hopeless she thought, I’ll never be able to recover from this.
Chris kept saying how sorry he was for what he had done. He made promises to never do it again, but he had already promised this the first time she caught him when they were dating so the words meant very little to Sara. He said that he knew what he had done was harmful and wrong but tried to assure her that he hadn't cheated physically.
This didn't make Sara feel any better. In fact she felt sick and disgusted that he was attracted to very cheap looking women, with massive breasts on display. Is this the type of woman he wants she asked herself? Then why marry me? I'm nothing like them.
They found it difficult to talk without it exploding and so they went for traditional marriage counselling sessions. At $300 USD an hour they just repeated the exact same conversation they had been having at home.
They continued and continued hoping things would get better with more sessions but unfortunately things were much worse.
Each time they went they felt more hopeless, Sara was not healing her anger and anxiety was still high. Chris had not been able to give any reason as to why he had cheated. When Sara asked him questions all he could say was
"I don't know!"
"I don't know why I did it!"
"I don't know why I didn't think of you and the children at the same time."
"I don't know why I risked losing you and the family"
"I don't know why it started"
"I don't know why I picked those women"
This drove Sara insane. How could she move past this again and trust him again if he doesn't even know the answer.
Chris tried to do his best to reassure Sara, the reason he kept saying he didn't know, was because he actually didn't know.
The counsellor they had was a sweet person but didn't give any real tools help them move past the affair.
They were so close to breaking the family and giving up. They had spent $9,000 USD in counseling fees, 30 sessions and with the travel commute into the city they had wasted over 75 hours of their time.
They felt more and more frustrated and disheartened every time.
It wasn't working because their core issues were not being addressed:
Chris needed to be able to understand himself first, get to the root of why he had cheated, what caused him to need / want to pick up his phone and sext. What were his feelings, thoughts and triggers that led to it, what benefit was it giving to him that he couldn't control the compulsion.
Sara needed to release her anxiety and low-self esteem. She wanted to find herself again, get her energy, happiness and peace back.
Only after that could the couples therapy make any sense.
Can You Relate To This Kind of Situation?
Regardless of whether it was a physical, emotional or internet affair?
A lot of nights were spent apart with Chris sleeping on the couch or in with the children.
Small things turned to silly arguments which quickly became bigger issues.
Tension, arguing and shouting had become normal occurrences.
Both Chris & Sara were desperately seeking to be respected and loved, neither felt like they were being given the chance to be heard.
The more that they tried to talk, the worse things got and the distance between them just increased... more and more.
Everything they had tried to remedy their marriage in the form of counseling and self-help literature had done NOTHING to help them.
A drastic change was needed in their relationship but neither knew how to achieve that.
Their relationship was stuck in a serious and harmful rut and neither could see the way to fix it. Despite deeply loving each other and their family life.
I am not about to sit here and say I was able to recover their marriage from cheating in one hour, because that is certainly not the case…
BUT what I shared with this couple in the Affair Recovery Rescue Call
Prompted them to instantly press pause on the separation and start taking the the 3 steps needed to save their marriage.
In a few weeks following the steps I outlined there were remarkable changes visible in their marriage...
The nights spent sleeping separately were a thing of the past
Chris was able to understand the root cause of his behavior and was able to answer why he did giving them a chance to rebuild trust.
There was no going over the past again and again, they got comfortable closure.
Sara was able to release her fears and find joy and peace again
Their physical intimacy had been replenished with sincere pleasure connecting and renewed PASSION.
Trust had been restored and they felt closer than ever before.
Trust was being rebuilt step by step, day by day… Pretty amazing right?
Last Week, I Was Invited To Chris and Sara’s Vow Renewal Ceremony!
In a few weeks following the steps I outlined in the audio program, there were remarkable changes visible in their marriage...
The nights spent sleeping on the couch or in the spare room were a thing of the past
The little-things-turned-to-big-issue arguments had stopped.. VANISHED!!
There was no going over the past again and again, they got comfortable closure
Their physical intimacy had been replenished with sincere pleasure
connecting and renewed PASSION.
Trust was being rebuilt step by step, day by day… Pretty amazing right?
Last Week, I Was Invited To Chris and Sara’s Vow Renewal Ceremony!
The truth is, most people offering marriage counseling
are not trained marriage counselors.
And they are certainly not trained on how to fix a relationship after an affair!!!
They have likely received their traditional individual counselling training
and simply added marriage counseling to their list of services offered…
most likely after the fact too! (not a nice thought)
What I’m saying is that the level of experience these people have in truly helping a marriage where there has been an emotional or physical affair is little to none...
And when they are offering this service, their tactics and techniques are more than likely outdated and simply no longer effective because these same techniques were simply never created to help a marriage in serious confusion!
The truth is, most people offering marriage counseling are not trained marriage counselors.
And they are certainly not trained on how to fix a relationship after an affair!!!
They have likely received their traditional individual counselling training
and simply added marriage counseling to their list of services offered…
most likely after the fact too! (not a nice thought)
What I’m saying is that the level of experience these people have in truly helping a marriage where there has been an emotional or physical affair is little to none...
And when they are offering this service, their tactics and techniques are more than likely outdated and simply no longer effective because these same techniques were simply never created to help a marriage in serious confusion!
That’s Why Even The ‘Best’ Marriage Counselors Only Enjoy Such A Marginally Low Success Rate Of Around 20%... Imagine If We Held Medical Procedures To The Same Standards… It Wouldn’t Be Legal!
I can relate to this from personal experience because I went to counselling...
I can relate to this from personal experience because having such a low success rate is frustrating.
AFTER I FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND HAD SLEPT WITH A GIRL FROM WORK…
The counsellor told me to focus on myself, which wasn't very helpful because I didn't know how to do that. Myself esteem was at an all time low. She didn't have any tools to help me get the images of the two of them together out of my head. She didn't know how to help him rebuild the trust and get him to open up as to what led him to do it.
We were clueless on how to heal from it.
The negative thoughts and questions running in my head were overwhelming. Did he no longer find me attractive? Is she better in bed? Does he prefer her body to mine? Is she more interesting? My heart felt heavy and tight. Waves of pain came and went and I’d burst into tears at random times of the day.
I loved him and hated him at the same time. I felt so angry that I couldn't focus on things I needed to get done. Every area of my life was suffering… it all felt so incredibly unfair.
With all that being said, what I didn’t need was the counsellor to make
him feel worse or more guilty. He was making the best efforts he could to help me but I just felt numb to them.
Nor did I need him to apologise any more, he had done enough begging and apologising at home, the counsellor suggested this but again it wasn't helpful because one, I needed actions not words. Two I needed a deeper explanation than he could give me.
Sadly that relationship after 11 months of counseling ended.
Can You Relate To My Experience?
This is why I am motivated to help people to recover their relationship or marriage after cheating.
I suffered enough and all I ever want is to help my clients feel better and save their relationship
Because I know how terrible it is that all of those techniques that are supposed to be helping couples only keep things the same or sadly sometimes make things so much worse!
Once I discovered that those usual methods for marriage therapy were not working, I was convinced I could find and create a new way of helping couples recover after internet, physical and emotional affairs.
A set of tools that actually did good.
I let go of all the ‘traditional’ counselling techniques I trained in as they simply
DON'T WORK!
I released all the ‘traditional’ theories and techniques as they simply DON'T WORK! And why you need to do the exact same!
"I reached out to Nicola after listening to her podcast show for some time. My wife had an emotional affair with someone at work and they kissed at a staff party. I signed up for her affair recovery program because I couldn’t get the images out of my head and my wife was not sure how to help me. We decided to give it a go because we have 2 children and didn’t want to break up the family, but before Nicola’s support I was finding it hard to get past the affair.
The 30 day program worked so well that in just a few weeks, we were having a great laugh together and the best sex we have had in years. It was also the first time in our marriage that difficult conversations didn't
lead to blazing rows or the silent treatment. Nicola has a down to earth approach, great strategies and offers consistent support. We are so grateful, things keep on getting better and we have finally turned a corner, I didn't think would be possible."
- Mike, Texas
Unhelpful information for couples trying to fix a marriage after an affair that friends or marriage counsellors may tell you...
You Need To Learn To Communicate About The Affair Better
You Need To Learn To Communicate About The Affair Better
Talking about the affair more is not going to help you, you need to do the individual clearing work to be able to understand the root cause of cheating for the cheater, so they can give answers that make sense to themselves and their partner. The person who has been cheated on needs to then clear their self-doubt, insecurities, worries, so they feel like themselves again happy and free.
Counseling is the "Only Way" To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
There Is Only 'One Way' To Fix
Your Marriage After An Affair
Most well meaning friends and counsellors may tell you there is only one real way to fix your marriage after the affair and that's counseling.
I have learnt there are infinite ways and each way needs to be given the attention it deserves and needs to be tailored to the individual and couple.
Often marriage counsellors refuse to work with the couple individually and together as a couple. They often suggest that the couple use one of their other therapists in the center and use them for couple counseling.
This can often hinder rather than create positive change. Some counsellors will tell a person who has been cheated on to divorce, that they likely won't be able to trust again and that they should leave. Others may tell the cheater you cheated for a reason so their must be reasons why you did it, let's go through all the things that are wrong in your partner and what you don't like.
These unwarranted and judgmental opinions cause harm. Any therapist that works with affair recovery must understand the real dynamics in the couple, must work with both in the couple individually and together to get an accurate view of how to help the couple.
There is, in fact, a unique way to healing a marriage after an affair with action steps to follow.
The methods I use are tried and tested and have been working for thousands of couples. The past 13 years I've dedicated my life to helping people heal from the causes that lead to affairs and the trauma that can result from it to individuals and couples.
With my help, you will be able to identify the best way to become closer, rebuild trust and leave the past behind you. Your begin the process of healing yourselves and the relationship.
Time Is The Greatest Healer
Time Is The Greatest Healer
This is perhaps one of the most damaging, untrue statements about healing after an affair!
From my experience, couples who keep ‘putting things off’ burying their heads in work or family or other distractions are the ones who think it will work out on its own, over time.
But this is never ever the case and deep down, you already know that which is why you are here on this page because you are ready to take a proactive approach to this situation!
All All time does is pass!
All time does is past!
How can you trust someone again that doesn't know the real reasons why they have cheated and don't have new strategies to cope with the triggers that led them there?
It's almost impossible.
It's kind of like trusting a blind person to drive you across town.
For trust you need to be able to both understand the behavior causes and triggers to put it behind you. It's not about the other person, it's about something much deeper.
If you're not willing to make changes and take the necessary forward focused steps to fixing things, all the negativity will bring your relationship down substantially, and before you know it, it may be too late to do anything about it.
It’s crucial that you put the wheels in motion to start working on saving your relationship right away… before things get completely out of control and it is too late for any kind of repair!
In less than 30 days, things can be totally different.
"I reached out to Nicola after listening to her podcast show for some time. My wife had an emotional affair with someone at work and they kissed at a staff party. I signed up for her affair recovery program because I couldn’t get the images out of my head and my wife was not sure how to help me. We decided to give it a go because we have 2 children and didn’t want to break up the family, but before Nicola’s support I was finding it hard to get past the affair.
The program worked so well that in just a few weeks, we were having a great laugh together and the best sex we have had in years. It was also the first time in our marriage that difficult conversations didn't lead to blazing rows or the silent treatment. Nicola has a down to earth approach, great strategies and offers consistent support. We are so grateful, things keep on getting better and we have finally turned a corner, I didn't think would be possible."
- Mike, Texas
An affair doesn’t mean your Relationship is doomed. 1000's save their relationship after cheating every year. With the right forward focused steps!...
Even if you're not sure what you want or if you can get back the trust, attraction and peace of mind.
It works!
Even if you’re the only one trying right now. Releasing the thoughts that set you back and having tools to repair the relationship will help.
"I was so surprised how well the tools worked to release the horrible thoughts I had.
I knew if I had waited for our relationship to get better without any guidance everything would have got worse.
Nicola helped me regain my energy, happiness and confidence.
For my husband she helped him explore how his childhood had left him feeling that he had to achieve and please others to be seen.
The extra support through email and the 4 online courses lifted us both up.
The couples sessions were focused and outcome orientated so we had so many steps and tools for our future together.
We both enjoyed our individual release and the couple sessions.
"Thanks Nicola, your program changed our lives"
Mark and Linda - Florida
An affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over. Thousands successfully turn their relationship around with the right forward focused steps!...
Even If You're Not Sure If You Can Get Over the Hurt and Regain Trust, Attraction and Closeness!
Even if you’re the only one trying!
3 Tracks That Transform a Troubled Relationship Into an Amazing One!
FOR THE CHEATER
A 3 Session Deep Dive to support the cheater to understand their behavior, get to the root cause and change it.
So you can confidently explain to your partner why you have done it and what you will do instead if similar situations come up.
The 3 sessions focus on:
1, Personal Inventory
We create a list of thoughts, events and emotions you want to release.
2, Release and Reset
Clearing all unwanted patterns and beliefs.
3, Maintaining Happiness and High Self-Esteem
Devising personal and relationship goals to support you remain focused and positive.
Strategies to help your partner and repair the hurt.
Extra Support
It comes with 4 Online Courses and 3 month support option is available.
To ensure the changes last and you can continue your self and relationship growth.
For Further Details on the 3 Steps See Below
FOR THE PERSON
CHEATED ON
A 3 Session Deep Dive to release anxious, critical and painful thoughts.
So you can feel like yourself again, free from the self-doubt, lack of focus, resentment, hurt and overwhelm.
Create empowering goals for yourself and feel excited about the future.
The 3 sessions focus on:
1, Personal Inventory
We create a list of thoughts, events and emotions you want to release.
2, Release and Reset
Clearing all unwanted patterns and beliefs.
3, Maintaining Happiness and High Self-esteem
Devising personal and relationship goals to support you remain focused and positive.
Extra Support
It comes with 4 Online Courses and 3 month support option is available.
To ensure the changes last and you can continue your self and relationship growth.
For Further Details on the 3 Steps See Below
A NEW STRONGER RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER
This step includes joint sessions after the individual clearing track 1 and / or 2 have taken place.
Together we focus on 4 main steps:
1: 30 Relationship needs that build trust, love and closeness where you pick your top 8 and share them. Actions create change not talking.
2, Clearing negativity, resentments, insecurities and anger.
What we think and our mood creates our reality. To create lasting change in the relationship when it comes to communication, connection and happiness, releasing negative thoughts is key.
3, 29 Communication Principles so that you can stop bickering, holding your emotions in or the silent treatment. Where you can acknowledge, show empathy and find solutions.
4, Dream, Goal and Value Alignment creating a vision for your future.
It was Christine who got the wheels in motion. Now they are the happiest they have ever been after doing the 3 tracks they both gave it 5 stars. As you can see below:
Mike from Texas who never thought he’d get over his wife kissing a colleague at work so quickly.
He had sleepless nights and found it difficult to eat anything. Step 2 enabled him to feel calmer, be more focused at work, he was able to trust her and truly feel free when she was out. A freedom he felt thought possible.
Two marriages quickly saved from divorce.
I’m guessing, right about now you are wondering if this can work for you and your situation right?
3 Key Steps in the Cheater Breakthrough and the Betrayed Breakthrough
Detailed Personal Inventory
You Need To Learn To Communicate About The Affair Better
In this section we will be identifying root causes of presenting problems.
Starting from childhood all the way up to the present day, we will identify unhelpful beliefs you may be holding about yourself, your future, your relationships and what you can accomplish.
We will not spend hour and hours going into the story, more looking for any repetitive, critical or fear-based thoughts that are affecting you how you feel, behave and think. All those that drain your energy and affect your mood.
Any patterns you notice occurring in your life that you want to break free from will be noted down, so you can create healthier growth.
Learn, Release and Reset
There Is Only 'One Way' To Fix
Your Marriage After An Affair
We will clear and release any unwanted thoughts you think or say to yourself for example:
A Cheater often has some of the below beliefs like
“I need validation from others” “I can’t say no” “I’m not good enough” “I lie to avoid confrontation”
“I’m not good at relationships.” “I self-sabotage” “I need to avoid conflict in romantic relationships” “I lack confidence” “I need to do X to have a release” “I’m addicted to…” “I flirt for an ego boost” “I’m a people pleaser” “My ego gets in the way” “I’m a failure” “I’m not where I want to be in life” “I don’t know why I cheat” “I don’t understand why I mess things up” “I’m weak when it comes to women/men” “I worry what others think” “I’m not good at communication” “I act to get attention” etc.
This step is crucial as you need to understand why you have cheated and the triggers that led to it, so you can can confidently and clearly explain this to rebuild the trust, closeness and safety for your partner.
How can they trust you if you cannot fully explain and understand why you cheated, what caused it and what actions you will now take instead.
Betrayed person may have beliefs like
“I’ll never be able to trust again” “All men/women cheat” “If they loved me they wouldn’t do this.” “My whole relationship is a lie” “I’m broken” “I’m anxious all the time” “I’m not good enough” “I worry what others think” “I can’t stop the negative images and thoughts” “I’m not interesting enough” “I’m trapped” “I’m always getting hurt” “I’m not attractive enough” “I lack confidence” “I’m not seen” “I’m not appreciated” “I’m a fool for staying” “I’m unwanted” “I can’t function normally” “When I go out, all I can think about when I see couples is if they cheat also” “I have low self-esteem” “what did I do to deserve this?” “I can’t help compare myself to the other person/people” etc.
I will help you to release these intrusive thoughts that can come up at any point and steal your happiness, lower your mood and motivation.
However impossible you may think it is to be happy or at peace right now and even if it feels like you are the only one willing to try it can work...
In addition to clearing the hurtful beliefs and thoughts, we will let go of any resentment towards yourself or others, any concerns about the future and any other insecurities affecting you now.
Doing this releasing step frees you to enjoy life more:
Where your energy, enthusiasm and motivation rise to an amazing level. After this step people mention feeling lighter, hopeful and self-assured.
Maintaining happiness and high self-esteem
Time Is The Greatest Healer
After the clearing it’s important to install steps to keep up your happiness, confidently be yourself and feel good about your present-day life and future. Creating new positive daily and weekly habits instead of the harmful or self-sabotaging ones.
In this session we also will go over your top 5 goals that you want to be, have or experience in the next 1 to 10 years.
Together we will map out the actions to get there, leaving you with a profound new sense of focus and direction. Where you’ll start to bring new positive experiences into your life. We will also cover how to rebuild trust, restore confidence, safety and security in the relationship and how to communicate peacefully in a direction that can move you forward.
Anatomy Of A Marriage In Crisis After The Affair
The lack of knowing how to do something inside your relationship often translates into not caring or wanting the relationship enough.
This then is used as proof that the relationship will never recover.
Sadly, rebuilders are given the wrong advice and help.
When couples celebrate their wedding day, the last thing they are expecting is for the marriage to end because of an affair and when people rank their priorities in life, marriage and family unit always seems to be in the top 1, 2 or 3 on that list.
But, the problem is that affairs are happening more and more these days with the internet / phone addiction and the advertising bombardment that something new will make life better. This is not making any excuses or condoning behaviour.
The only way to recover from an affair is to take responsibility…
And when you take responsibility you take action!
You can start with Any 1 of These 3 Steps:
Deep dive for the Cheater to clear out unwanted thoughts and habits
Deep dive for the cheated on to regain their confidence, peace of mind and happiness. Make a clear decision on their future.
Couples sessions after the individual clearing to reconnect, rebuild trust and become closer than ever before. Overcome any past communication or other relationship issues affectively. Create a shared vision. It's forward focused, action based and positive
Create A Shared Vision, Goals And Purpose For Staying Together - That You're BOTH Excited About So An Affair Will Never Happen Again and Positive Changes Last A Lifetime Rather Than Weeks Or Months.
I’ve Seen Marriages Regain There Life After Just About Every Form of Cheating Issue... It doesn’t matter what type of cheating, how long the cheating has been going on, and if only one of you want’s to fix it. With every person I help there is always one common outcome that make itself present:
Relationships Can And Do Come Back With The Right Action.
These Couples Have Not Just Avoided The Dreaded Divorce Process But Feel Happy and Energised again.
Experiencing A Completely Transformed Relationship Closer than before…
Something They
Once Thought Was Impossible.
Want to change things quickly?
As inaction is the real killer of marriages, not the affair it’s what happens after that causes more pain, more resentment and unhelpful advice or counselling makes things worse.
It’s also important to note that behaviors don't suddenly come and go. Neither do ingrained beliefs of not being worthy.
Traditional marriage counselling will not simply appear in the blink of an eye. The issues and the problems are a collective accumulation which takes place over a period of time.
So there needs to be more than talking or thinking to release, reset and transform.
There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to affair recovery so if you can afford all 3 tracks then that is the best option.
A person who has a track record in helping people.
If your funds are limited right now then you can choose the most important track you feel is the best option for you.
There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to affair recovery so if you can afford it 1:1 affair support is always best with an expert who has a track record in this. If your funds are limited right now the affair recovery audio program is a great option.
The reason my audio program is so effective is because I recognise that what can be helpful and resolve an issue in one stage may be completely counterproductive in another stage. So what I have done is make sure each stage has a separate and unique path in dealing with the problems.
The Affair Recovery Release, Reset and Recreate Program
has been tried and tested To work for people all over the world for the past
13 Years!
It’s not about talking through the struggles it's about removing the subconscious thoughts, emotions and triggers holding you back. So you can create the relationship you’ve always dreamed Of!
Don’t Just Take My Word For It…
"We tried to solve all of our issues on our own for a few months, but it didn't work, we kept having the same issues come up time and time again and the same conversations about the infidelity. Traditional marriage counselling was pushing us further apart.
At first, my husband was reluctant because he has no free time but we both knew something had to change.
Nicola helped us connect and also helped me to let go of the panic I felt. Things have been going great since we did the 3 tracks. We've become closer, laugh and chat again like we did when we first met! Thanks so much, your way of working is really amazing.
- Deanna, Croydon, London
WARNING: The Danger of Untrained Affair Recovery Counselors
Why Work With 1 Counselor? Instead of Separate Individual Counselors and a General Couple Counselor?
Ahmed had been cheating online and was caught by his 14 year old daughter. Reema (his wife) got her own therapist and arranged one for their daughter at school. Reema was shocked when her daughter came home from school telling her parents that the counselor at school said
"once a cheater, always a cheater, tell your mum she must leave him."
Reema went herself to a different healer who also told her "she needs to protect herself and contact a divorce lawyer at once and check all the family financials to protect herself"
Ahmed's counselor didn't believe that he really loved his wife and family and was happy despite cheating. His therapist said to him "he must of cheated for a reason, there must be something wrong with his marriage otherwise he wouldn't do it"
I was disgusted and appalled to find such damaging advice being given. I helped Ahmed and Reema to recover from the affair, deepen their connection, rebuild trust and also helped their daughter find peace.
The ‘marriage saving’ and “affair recovery” guides available online, are also (practically) useless. Most of these supposed guides are in fact compiled by non-existent personas hiding behind pictures.
Offering general advice made for the masses or running group programs.
But your relationship is completely different to other people’s and I am guessing you want to keep everything private right?
I am an expert in helping couples through this this that you can actually get in touch with me any time to get the support you need just click the button below to talk with me.
"We tried to solve all of our issues on our own for a few months, but it didn't work, we kept having the same issues come up time and time again and the same conversations about the infidelity. Traditional marriage counselling was pushing us further apart.
At first, my husband was reluctant because he has no free time but we both knew something had to change. We looked at the Audio Set and decided that we would start here as it worked for his busy schedule and was such a reasonable price. The information us connect and also helped me to let go of past hurt for good. Things have been going great since we made the commitment to implement the steps. We've become closer, laugh and chat again like we did when we first met!
Thank you Nicola!"
- Deanna, Croydon, London
The Affair Recovery Program Will Assist You To Get To Get Yourself And Marriage Back On Track.
Help you to Feel Alive Again
Sound Good? But You Will Need To ACT FAST!
Sound Good? But You Will Need To ACT FAST!
Let me explain why.
The longer it takes you to take action against the perils in your marriage, the smaller chance you have of saving it.
You need to take the appropriate action against this, quickly! I’ve seen couples who wait and wait after an affair and the pain get’s worse.
Think about it along these lines
The average cost of divorce is (around $30,000) not forgetting the emotional pain, stress and turmoil of splitting everything and having two homes.
But the cost of being in an extraordinary, healthy, Relationship?
PRICELESS!
As our home life impacts our physical health, mental well-being, other family members, career and financial focus and day to day mood.
Before I started working with Nicola, I felt drained and confused. If I had continued down the path I was on I would have left my marriage, family, friends, and community due to embarrassment. I didn’t know how to fix the relationship after I cheated.
The thing about Nicola is that she is warm, kind, understanding, compassionate, and creates a safe environment to share your most personal and guarded challenges.
The privacy to have the online calls from your home or car, also were a great comfort to me. She helped me decide if I wanted to save my marriage and how to go about it.
I'd recommend Nicola to anyone who is struggling in their marriage because of an affair.
- Patrick, Spring Valley, New York
Before I started working with Nicola, I felt drained and confused. If I had continued down the path I was on I would have left my marriage, family, friends, and community due to embarrassment. I didn’t know how to fix the relationship and get past it.
The privacy to have the online calls from your home or car, also were a great comfort to me.
I'd recommend Nicola to anyone who is struggling in their marriage because of an affair.
- Pat, New York
Either Cheater Breakthrough track 1 or Betrayed Breakthrough track 2
3 x 2 Hour Release and Reset Sessions
3 months unlimited email support
Follow up check in sessions for extra support available.
4 online courses:
1: Self-esteem and confidence course
2: Relationship strengthening course
3: Save your marriage program
4: 30 x guided meditations
Over 50 Hours of Learning Content To Keep Forever.
1 Individual Track Cheater or Betrayed Breakthrough with the Couples Track
3 x 2 Hour Release and Reset Sessions for 1 person
2 x hours of individual counseling for the person not doing track 1
Couples sessions to create lasting change through actions for connection and closeness, clearing negativity, resentment and anger, 29 principles of great communication and goal alignment.
3 months unlimited email support
4 online courses:
1: Self-esteem and confidence course
2: Relationship strengthening course
3: Save your marriage program
4: 30 x guided meditations
Over 50 Hours of Learning Content To Keep Forever.
Cheater Breakthrough and the
Betrayed Breakthrough with the Couples Track
3 x 2 Hour Release and Reset Sessions for the cheater
3 x 2 Hour Release and Reset Sessions for the person cheated on
To be free from any negative thoughts and strong emotions from the past.
Couples sessions to create lasting change through actions for connection and closeness, clearing negativity, resentment and anger, 29 principles of great communication and goal alignment.
3 months unlimited email support
4 online courses:
1: Self-esteem and confidence course
2: Relationship strengthening course
3: Save your marriage program
4: 30 x guided meditations
Over 50 Hours of Learning Content To Keep Forever.
Please note, I can only take on 4 couples each month so the program and rates are available on a first come first serve basis.
These tools are yours FOR LIFE.
The whole system is specifically targeted to recover from affairs.
Let me help you through this crisis to a happier place!
Lisa: "If I knew how effective the program would be, I wouldn't have waited 2 whole years suffering, just hoping that my husband would change. I was hesitant because I didn't know if it was too late and yet I was determined to try. It worked so well a week later he joined me any way and wanted to upgrade to the couple program. I'm so pleased I took action and signed up, as goodness knows how many more years we would have wasted being miserable around each other."
Tom: "After seeing the changes in Lisa, I became curious and thought I'd at least have a session with Nicola. I liked her no-nonsense approach and the fact that we didn't have to drag up the past together rather heal individually. It was clear the program was forward-focused, looking at the future which I agree with and so it suited me"
If you feel that this is not right for you, then please, move on. I don't need to convince you how important your relationship is...
But, if you are really ready to take action in your marriage then I can help you with the tools to do that!
Take charge of your happiness TODAY!
Book a call with me using the link below or email me at nb@nicolabeer.com for information on how to get started.
The Affair Recovery Release, Reset and Recreate Program
Will Assist You To Get To Get Yourself and Relationship Back On Track.
Help you to Feel Alive Again
"Dear Nicola, I really can't thank you enough for the wisdom, support and guidance your has provided.
My year started off with my husband wanting a divorce and now we are happily married and looking forward to what our future has instore for us.
It has been an amazing learning experience and even my husband listened to the course material which I never expected him to. I truly believe if I had not started with your steps I would no longer have a marriage.
Thank you!!"
- Julie
You Can Save Your Marriage, Starting NOW…
The Time For Taking Action Is Now. . . But Only YOU Can Take It!
I have created the resources you will need to salvage your relationship.
I have also made it so that you are able to access the information
at any place in the world any time of the day.
But the final actions that need to be taken are yours and only you can decide if your marriage is worth it.
Join The Affair Recovery Program Today And YOU Will:
- Feel happy, more appreciated and understood
- Know how to motivate your partner to change
- Be closer and feel like a team again rather than two individuals co-existing
-
Revive your physical intimacy and passion for each other
-
Get over old hurt and be able to leave the past behind you
-
Rebuild trust, respect and love
Be irresistible to your partner, thus eliminating future affairs
Understand the critical daily habits to keep your relationship alive and create the positive changes that last a lifetime
Be able to talk calmly and productively and move forward.
Have proven strategies to handle depression, addictions, anger and affair
Improve your confidence, self-esteem and happiness in life
Relationship Transformation Specialist
I have worked with hundreds of couples over a space of 15 years. When these couples, that have tried every type of counselling and failed, started my program, they have successfully walked away with their marriage back on track and happier than ever.
Unlike other relationships experts who come from a psycho analytical, text book background, for me, saving marriage stems from my very own personal experience being cheated on and then my own negativity making things worse.
On top of this I care because when I was 14 years old, my parents decided to get a divorce after many years of dealing with a volatile marriage. The constant bickering and resentment made it unbearable for them to get past their issues and resolve their marriage.
My Dad had a string of affairs and the conflict, poor communication led to their marriage ending. It was a very deep and personal loss for me as a young adult.
Living through this and making plenty of my own relationship mistakes, I wanted to learn what the secret was to keeping love, passion and happiness alive in a relationship.
I found the answers and created this tried and tested program. I have written in 4 international best-selling books and have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News Network, Wall Street Select and Saffron Media.
My passion is to help couples recover after affairs and feel good.
